ok so to continue on from my living hell....i spoke with my doctor friday afternoon in san antonio and he spoke with my urologist and they decided that all would be good to go to possibly do both my retrieval, granted the eggs were ready, and lithotripsy on wednesday as long as everything went as planned...well boy did it NOT go as planned....
so chadd and i enjoyed an italian dinner before heading to glendas for the night which was so good! we had a pepperoni pizza! anyways we headed to glendas, watched TV and basically went to bed! well, so much for a good nights sleep! i woke up about 1:30am with the lower back pain, it did nothing but get worse. i took two lortab that my urologist prescribed me when i saw him friday morning for "just in case"...well those didnt even touch the pain!!!!!! so i got up about 4am and took a shower to see if it would help ease the pain, which it didnt...i got out of the shower and noticed my left side was super swollen up and the pain was worse so i told chadd it was time to go to the ER....so 45 minutes later, driving 80mph down the highway, i was in the ER! it went pretty smooth all in all, they got my IV going and pumped me up of the good stuff and voila! the pain was gone! love that good juice!
so they prescribed me all sorts of meds and we were out of there by 8:45am and headed to the fertility clinic across the street...keep in mind i looked like i had been hit by a bus so the looks i was getting from everyone was like, whoa, that girl needs help...so i let them know about the ER and we go on to the ultrasound and blood work where my follicles had grown a little and their were lots of them which was good, but after speaking with Dr. Martin we decided it was in my best health interest to cancel the cycle due to a bigger chance of infection. when kidneys are involved it can make everything quite scary so even though we were disappointed we were also relieved to just go home and relax and recover!!!
so i pretty much slept the whole day saturday sunday and now its monday and im awake for now until i take another hydrocodone! trying to hold off from them since i dont have any pain yet but for my sake and mostly chadds, we want to keep on top of the pain because my poor husband cant take seeing me in such pain!!! i feel so bad that he has had to take care of me soooo many times! it really sucks for him! in sickness and in health, right??? poor thing!
so for now im just taking it easy until wednesday when im scheduled for lithotripsy so i will update after all of that!
from an awesome person whom i hope to call my sister in law one day, Tayler...Proverbs 3:5-6 "trust in the lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in alll your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths"...

well....not what we had anticipated...really???

well....its been quite a whirlwind the past couple days! lets just recap! we, as in me, my mom, Valarie, and grayson, hit the road Wednesday night to head to Glenda's in Bulverde. She is my distant cousin but i call her my aunt! she is gracious enough to let us stay at her house anytime we need too when were in san antonio so it helps tremendously on our travel expenses! anyways, we made it safe and sound with only one detour! yes you would think since i've been there 500 times in the past year i would be able to remember how to get to her house but once you hit Boerne its a little tricky! AND it was dark! so, i get ready for bed that night and notice a little blood in my urine (i know TMI but if you are grossed out then don't read it! haha) but my body does some crazy things so i kinda just blew it off and went to bed...well, the next morning theirs the same problem now accompanied with a slight back pain, so i told my mom and of course she and i both were thinking the unspeakable...kidney problem...
so we all load up and head to the clinic with swimsuits in tow since we planned on going to Sea World after the appointment which we were soooo looking forward too! well, we get to the clinic, all four of us, and while were in the waiting room, something funny to share....lesbians...and grayson...we were a little nervous because they were getting pretty cozy so we were all just waiting for grayson to blurt something out! don't get me wrong more power to them to each their own! but we were more concerned with the way G would've reacted if he would've seen them do anything, but thankfully they didn't and G was distracted with his iPod! THANK YOU APPLE! HAHA anyways moving on...
so my mom and i go into the room after lots of waiting and then more waiting in the ultrasound room and a urine sample, which by the way, for a girl, is by far one of the most difficult things to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (like i said if you cant take the heat, stay in the shade!) anyways my ultrasound comes in and my endometrial lining is looking beautiful thank goodness! and my ovaries, WOW! the prettiest ive ever seen! haha we saw lots of follicles that weren't measuring too big yet but as you read on you will see why this may be a good thing! anyways, since she was doing the ultrasound she decided to check out my kidney that was causing problems to see if she could see anything suspicious...well about 10 minutes later she found what we suspected! a bleeping STONE!!!
so immediately the tears started flowing for one reason i was reliving the pain and agony i was in from the first one i had, then i just knew it was going to mess up our cycle, which would mean thousands of wasted dollars!!! thankfully since chadd  wasn't there my mommy was! yes, even when you're trying to become a mommy yourself, you still need yours to help you get there! well i calmed down thanks to her and got dressed and went to the office to meet with the doctor and nurse. when we stepped into the hallway we could see grayson and val patiently waiting for us! he was waving at us telling us it was time to go to sea world and to hurry up! haha
well we left the clinic basically with everything up in the air until i heard from my urologist from home. as we walked out of the clinic i mumbled, "could my life get any worse?" well, my six year old cousin gave it to me straight..."yes Shelby, it could be worse." hahahahaha that coming from a six year old definitely reminded me that yes it could be worse! well, i still had no pain from the stone and we were kind of at a stand still by this point so we decided lets just go to sea world and if i start to hurt or whatever then we could leave!
well thankfully ive had no pain and didn't all day yesterday and the four of us had a blast at sea world! loved loved loved the sea lions show! too funny!
so i found out i had an appointment for a CT in Angelo at 8:15 the next morning (today) but we enjoyed ourselves anyways knowing we were going to have to drive home so late! but we did and we made it home about 12:45 last night! i had a small cry and lots of hugs from my chadd and everything was better!
well today its only 11:40am as i type and wow its been a long morning! i had the CT at 8:15 then went and saw my urologist and they said that the stone is a good size but is in a spot where they cant just go out and remove it, they will have to use lithotrypsy, google it, and he only does it on Wednesdays since its done by a machine that isn't always available....so as of now im waiting on my doctor in San Antonio to call me back to see if were going to wait until then or if they could maybe get me into a doctor in San Antonio earlier to get rid of it!!!!!!!! either way it looks like we will be traveling back to San  Antonio today because they want to do another ultrasound in the morning to make sure they watch my follies closely to make sure we still can do the retrieval on time!
as of right now were looking at doing that Wednesday but like i said its all up in the air until my doctors communicate then call me about it! if we do the retrieval and the stone is still there, they will freeze my eggs so we don't have to worry there about losing my eggies they will just be on ice until were ready to fertilize and transfer them! in the mean time they gave me some Loratab in case i develop any pain and now we wait!!!!!! so i will update ASAP and again thanks so much to my awesome family for doing everything they can to help chadd and i get through all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we couldn't do it without everyone's help!

FOLLICLES FOLLICLES EVERYWHERE!

haha yeah so anyone that's been through this or has had me explain all of this in the past will understand the title! we had a couple good looking ovaries working away at our ultrasound this morning! my endometrial lining also was developing well, which is what is needed in order to have a good surrounding for implantation. i had about 10 small follicles growing on my right ovary and about 5 to 7 on my left one! my right one is the one we want to root for since its easier to get to than my left! my left ovary adhered itself to my uterus after a surgery i had a couple years ago so its difficult to get to during the retrieval but it still functions! Dr. Neal was able to get to it the first time he said their was lots of pushing, pulling, and awkward positions for the nurses in order for him to get to it but he made it which helped us out! so this time it would be just as good to get to it since the more we can retrieve the better our chances of lots of embryos!!! although my follicles weren't quite big enough I'm sure hoping our retrieval will not get pushed back since we plan on  going to junction with our families for 4th of July!!! although i wont be able to swim and will pretty much be on bed rest i still don't think i could handle missing a year since I've gone EVERY year since i could walk! and no I'm not joking! but i guess if it gets pushed back its for a good cause so i wont complain too much! haha
anyways i guess me, my awesome mom, Grayson (my awesome 6 year old cousin) and Valarie (my awesome aunt), will hit the road to San Antonio tomorrow after work so i can go to my appointment thursday morning then were gonna own sea world for the day!!! YIPPPPPPPPIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU TELL IM EXCITED??? i cant wait to see the walrus show!
well goodnight for now and i will do my best to update from my phone while im in san antonio! time to go watch the rain!!! thank you lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

Well, once again another fathers day gone by that my husband can't officially celebrate :( but we did get to celebrate two of the best dads anyone could ask for and without them we wouldn't be here and we wouldn't be able to attempt to have a child through invitro to celebrate days like this with in the future! i love my husband more than anyone knows and he has fulfilled my life in so many ways that this is such a heavy burden to not be able to fulfill his. I know he would never hold any of this against me, since he's told me and he shows me by sticking by my side and being at my beckon call for whatever i need throughout this whole process! he truly amazes me by being able to give me my shots and put on a strong face and open his arms when i need to break down! although he is quite good at pushing my buttons when he knows im all hyped up on hormone injections but hey, gotta find the humor SOMEWHERE in all this!
well we have one more day of injections in the morning then its back to the doctor Tuesday morning for another ultrasound and another round of blood work to see how things are progressing! really hoping everything stays as scheduled for the fact that were supposed to have an appointment Thursday morning in San Antonio then me, grayson, mom, and val are off to Sea World after that for the day!!! so anyways until Tuesday have a great Monday and hope everyone enjoyed being able to celebrate fathers day with an amazing father or angel father!

I love you Chadd and would fly to the moon and back to provide a child for you to love and appreciate not only on Fathers Day but every day of the year...I know it will happen one way or another one day, and when it does, you're going to be the best daddy a baby has ever known!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLEARED FOR TAKE-OFF!!!

well i had my ultrasound and blood work today and everything is a go!!! I start my injections this Saturday, which will include 125iu's of Follistim, which they upped from last time which is a good thing! Then another injection of Microdose HCG .1iu...i take one of each on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, then nothing on Tuesday until after my second ultrasound and round of blood work! once they see how things are progressing they will either up my meds or keep them the same until the next tests! Chadd also starts his antibiotic on Saturday but all he has to do is swallow a tiny little pill twice a day for 10 days and hes done! that's ok though since he has to put up with my emotions and hormones, his part is (almost) worse than mine!!! so after my nurse from San Antonio called and gave us the all clear, i forked over $7,000 to officially get the ball going!!! yes i said $7,000...but hey we got a discount from the last time since its our second try within 18 months! we got a whopping $1,500 discount! yeesh...oh well a discount is a discount!
 so ladies and gents, until then i will update as we go! everyone have a great weekend and TGIF!!!

GETTING EXCITED!!!

well tomorrow is the official start of the blood work and ultrasounds! i go in at 9:30 for some blood work and an ultrasound to check and make sure everything is clear for take off! i will start the injections Saturday if everything is good...the shots aren't so bad but when i have to start the progesterone in oil injections.....ouchy!!!! my sweet husband officially overcame his fear of needles (when i say fear i mean FEAR!) and he gives me the injections every morning!!! the only problem is they leave my swollen in my back side and they make it soooo sore! oh well, small price to pay for my dream!!!

so, moving on...if anyone knows us, we are so fortunate to have amazing relationships with our parents. i don't know if they want me to advertise this but i don't care because its awesome! our parents have come together and paid for this cycle of invitro!!!!! its such a relief to know that we wont have to burden ourselves with more debt in order to attempt IVF one more time, but on the other hand it will definitely be a heart breaker to have another failed cycle...catch my drift? they have already told us of course that no matter what the investment and what the outcome is, they will never regret doing this for us which is very helpful to hear! i thank God for giving us amazing parents and just have to remind myself when I'm feeling guilty about the money, that i would do the same thing if i was in their shoes! i long for the day to bless my parents with grandchildren!!! i was and still am a daddy's girl so i can only imagine what a grandchild will do to him! my poor mom will probably have to go into shoppers anonymous if we have a girl because when we are out shopping we see things all the time that we just know we will buy instead of admire when their is a little one in the picture! specifically a girl! haha

well i will update tomorrow after i get the results

everything's set!

well my medications get delivered tomorrow to my moms office! since they have to be signed for and put in a refrigerator its the easiest way! I have an appointment this Thursday to check everything out via an internal ultrasound and some blood work! if all is clear there we will start the injections this Saturday!!! I'm excited to start this all again and some what relieved since i know what to expect, what to watch for, what questions to ask and so forth! feeling more at ease and somewhat a little more hopeful! hope that's a true feeling and not just my mind messing with me!