Thankful Thankful Thankful!!!!

So if everyone doesnt know yet....I'M OFFICIALLY KNOCKED UP!!!! yep, test tube baby or babies decided to take up residence in my uterus and we couldn't be happier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know we have had so many people praying for us. weve been put on prayer lists at peoples churchs that they dont even know who we are but have helped us get this far spiritually! its an amazing feeling! its also an amazing feeling to hopefully know that we can finally have a well deserved break from all the stress and craziness of IVF procedures and finally just enjoy Gods gift! i was told by a close friend that i need to remember and enjoy this pregnancy and remind myself that its all in Gods hands! even though its hard to give it up to God i am definitely going to try my best! i just know that im doing everything in my power to hold on to this miracle and thats all i can do! and of course ask for prayers from all the amazing people that have gotten us here!
we officially got the news around 11am yesterday(friday) and of course were on the phones immediately since we had so many friends and family waiting on pins and needles for the results! we were super excited to have the test done to see what my HCG level came back at which is the number they give you so you can know how strong everything is basically! i guess i will let the cat out of the bag as well now....we took a total of 6 home tests from monday to friday morning and got positives all week soooo we kinda had a hunch!!! but hey, when you've been around the block as many times as us, it takes A LOT OF PROOF to show me that im truly pregnant! honestly i remind myself that i am, and remind myself my level was nice and high, but honestly until i see that first ultrasound theeeeeeen maybe, just maybe, i will be convinced! haha
so for now were just (im)patiently waiting on tuesday to get our level again to make sure everything looks good! my number was 534 yesterday so by tuesday were wanting to see greater than 1,000 sooooo everyone say a little prayer this miracle or miracles are growing for mommy and daddy!!!!!!!!!
thanks again to everyone for your continued prayers and support! it means the world to us to know so many people care about us becoming parents! its definitely been our dream for a looooooong time! we are grateful to God for this gift and know that we have two angel babies waiting for us in heaven and hope that they will guard and protect their siblings in my tummy for the next 8 months because they know how badly their parents need this precious gift!!!! Praise the Lord for his gift and thank you everyone!!!!

Waiting waiting and more waiting!

Well were getting closer to the big day! Come Friday morning we will know if our next nine months will be filled with baby preparations or empty hearts! I guess they can't be too empty though since we were lucky enough to have two embryos freeze! Thank God for that! Because I can tell you right now I don't plan on going through this entire IVF fiasco ever again! I don't mind going back to have two more put in in the future but after that, no more needles!!!!! Anyways just another thank you to everyone for praying so much for us! Were nearing the end of one phase but I'm certain we will need even stronger prayers if my body did actually decide to let the babies move in! I will do my best to update Friday or atleast the weekend but watch my Facebook status because I'm sure it will be on there quickly! Thanks everyone for the support and prayers. It means more than you know to chadd and I and helps more than you know! God bless!

Harvest time!

well the end of our second invitro cycle has officially come! we are completely done, now just to harvest my babies and pray to God for the miracle we have awaited so long for! i ended up this past wednesday with 15 eggs being retrieved, out of those 15, 14 were mature, which is great, which means they were all of good enough size to fertilize! the first time we attempted IVF the clinic had called us at 7:30am to deliver the fertilization news, and this time i finally had to call them twice by 10:30am because chadd and i were just about to explode with worry that they hadnt called because something went wrong!!! so out of those 14, 2 were not maturing properly so we will not use those and they will be disposed of since something was obviously not right!
when we arrived at the clinic saturday morning, they gave us the news we had been awaiting since we found out we had 12 embryos, which was the grade of the embryos! the lab woman came in and told us some amazing news, that we had 2 perfect embryos with the grade of 8A's, which is the highest grade, that would be put in! last time the highest quality we had that we transferred were two 7B's so this was an answered prayer for sure! we still have one 8B, one 7A, 2-7B's, and a few grade fives and fours left to see if they make it to the blasocyst stage in order to be frozen! the 8B and 7's have a good chance, but the lower ones will probably not make it so were hoping for the best and even if we only get one to freeze we will be happy campers!!!!!!! we should know around tuesday or wednesday if our remaining babies make it!
so i guess now all we ask for are a few more prayers asking for God to make this dream come true! it will be extremely hard if we dont have any freeze and this is a negative outcome, but for some reason chadd and i both just have a much better feeling about this cycle...im not sure what it is but on the way to san antonio friday i told chadd that for some reason my heart and my mind havent had any negative feelings throughout this entire process...unlike the first time...i dont know, it could be that "mothers" intuition combined with all the prayers weve had from people who hardly know us praying for our peace and success! whichever it is i sure hope its a good sign! these two weeks will be the longest of my life i know, so im looking forward to many distractions, yet still have to remind myself to take it easy! they told me that im not allowed to exercise for the next two weeks...darn...its totally going to cramp my style to not run my 5 miles every morning and keep up this amazing figure...lol ya right!!!!!!!!!!! looking forward to my awesome husband taking care of me as well! if theirs one thing i could say that he's good at in our marriage is taking care of me! in times like this and whenever i've been sick or anything he's right on top of taking care of me no matter what i ask for while still making me smile! i love you chadd and thank God everyday that he chose you to be by my side throughout this crazy thing called life and infertility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love you my chadd!

Dreamin's Free!

well this weekend in san antonio went muuuuuuch better than the last time i was there! we went to the doctor saturday morning, all the follicles were growing like they should be! then we headed to round rock with my parents and did some shopping then we drove over to Gruene and had dinner at the Gristmill while sweating our butts off but the food was worth it! my mom and i hung around sunday night for my appointment this morning and we sent the boys home since my appointment this morning wasnt anything chadd needed to miss a day of work over at his new job! my doctor seems much more confident this round than he did the first time which is a comforting feeling! he says that my follicles are growing all together at a good pace and good sizes so were hoping for mature eggs that will fertilize and make the "grade" when they become embryos!

so for anyone unfamiliar, they will basically knock me out wednesday morning, extract my eggs with a tiny needle-like tube, send them to the lab, mix them up with chadds "goods", then voila! we have embryos 24 hours later! they give the embryos 2 grades, a letter and number, based off the cell division and quality, the best being an 8A, grading 1-8 and A-D so were praying for many many 8A's!!!!!!!!!!! those are the most ideal for implantation and also to survive freezing in order to be able to use later on if needed! but if anyone wants to get specific with their prayers for us, we would love to have a boy and a girl set of twins, and not ever have to look back!!!!!!!! haha, like i said in the title, dreamin's free, right!? anyways chadd and i are at a comforting place in our life at the moment so it is much more comforting going into this final phase with a positive outlook on all aspects of our life! house got put on the market, chadd got a new career opportunity, our house is showing to a private client for the first time this wednesday, and God willing a baby in nine months!

i would like to thank everyone for their support that has helped guide chadd and i through the ups and downs of the past four years of our lives! our parents especially, because without their support financially and emotionally, theirs no way we would have the opportunity to attempt our dream again...praying for the last time!!!!

also a special thank you to Valarie and Eric, our aunt and uncle, that have graciously chosen us to become Bowens Godparents. It will be official the weekend after we find our if we are pregnant or not, so no matter the outcome, we feel so blessed that we will atleast have a Godchild that we can watch grow faithfully, and lovingly, with the best support we can give him throughout his journey in life as if he were our own! We love you BoBo and plan on spoiling you rotten! (especially if we dont have our own baby...lookout! kisses all the time!)

i will attempt to update after we find out how many embryos we end up with which we should know around thursday morning!



~Even though you're not here and I am yet to know if you will ever exist, please know i will love you unconditionally, protect you over my own well being, guide you through life with my best capabilities, and will hold your heart forever in mine~My heart longs for a baby of my own, to hold, to love, to kiss goodnight, to bandage a scrape, to drop off at the first day of school, to watch graduate from college, to walk down the isle, and to bless me with my own grandchildren someday, God willing, so Lord if you could grant this one wish, to send down a healthy child that Chadd and I can raise in your eyes, I'll never ask for anything again~

LUCKY NUMBER 7!

well today was the first ultrasound/bloodwork day of our final invitro attempt and it seems as though 7 is the lucky number! i had 7 follicles on both ovaries, all measuring at 7's, 8's, and 9's (for the lucky ones that need translation, just know those are good measurements! haha) Maybe we will name our child after the number 7 like the Beckhams did! haha silly celebrities! (but hey, we still may if this all turns up successful! ;) this was the first time i had to go to an appointment without Chadd or my mom but i was a big girl! since chadd started his new job its a little hard to hop on over to meet me at the clinic when he works all the way in Mertzon now! i wasn't too worried though since i knew by the hot flashes and cramping ovaries that more than likely everything was growing as it should!
i have another appointment thursday, same as todays, then if it all looks okay we will head to san antonio friday night for an appointment saturday morning! we will know more by then as to what exact days retrieval and transfer will occur, since my ovaries are in control its their call! short and sweet! I will try to update thursday for anyone interested in keeping up!

Big Change in the Brown household!

well tomorrow is the big day for Chadd! He starts his new career at Town & Country Wholesale in Mertzon as an operations manager/sales! He will get  a company truck which will help with the commute and a company phone. He's super excited and if anyone needs someone to purchase fuel or other related products give him a shout! I'm so happy and so proud of him for taking this leap of faith and taking a jump at bettering his future as a successful man and providing for a family we long for so badly! I have the most amazing husband i could ever ask for! (which, i guess their are no bad ones since we all think we have the best of them? or atleast most of the time! haha)
 Weve been taking it easy today since our weekend was filled with celebrating chadds last day at work thursday night, helping Cody, one of our bff's, throw his parents a surprise anniversary party, then we helped Miss Tayler, my brothers girlfriend, celebrate her 21st birthday last night! Whew! Makes me tired again just recapping! Haha Also resting today to prepare ourselves for not only Chadd starting a new job, but going for our (hope to be) LAST Invitro cycle attempt!
I am a little nervous having to go to the first 3 ultrasounds alone since Chadd will be in Mertzon working we know its rather pointless to make him ask off work and drive all the way back into town just for a couple quick blood draws and ultrasounds! Maybe I can get my mommy to come! ;) I have my first baseline set for this thursday, then if all looks good i will start injections this coming saturday! we will follow with two more ultrasounds to check progress not this week but next, on tuesday and thursday then will head to san antonio that friday for hopefully the final ultrasound! its all a play it by ear journey of course so i will do my best to update either on here or facebook when the time comes!
were also looking forward to spending the weekend in Dallas with some great friends this weekend! Maybe our last hurrah before getting prego??? haha wouldn't that be nice! we've invited a set of friends for a fun filled weekend in Dallas, but they dont know what surprises lie ahead of them!!! Can't wait Wes & Micha!!! They are very special friends that did a very special thing for us in our invitro journey to help out so this is our way of thanking them!!!
Anyways stay tuned! the next 3 weeks should be quite interesting!!!! as usual with the IVF process! chadd and i are just so ready to get this crazy, emotional, whirlwind of a rollercoaster ride over with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaater!

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES...BUT STONES THEY JUST MIGHT KILL ME!!!

ok so hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!!!!!!!!!! boy was mine a little heartbreaking for a day, but then it shaped up! read on for the story...haha
well i had my surgery last wednesday the 29th and everything went smooth! we checked in and waited and waited with my mom then they called me back and we waited some more in the hospital room then chadds mom showed up but we didnt wait too long so it was ok! the anaesthesiologist came in, Dr. Igler which ive had before and i totally love him by the way! he is hilarious!!! so they got my IV going and wheeled me back and placed me on the table. the last thing i remember talking about was we (all the staff in the surgery room) were going to meet at InVino Veritas after the surgery and boom i was out! haha. i woke up and all was good, went to recovery then my chadd came in and karyn and tamra then within an hour or so we were good to go home! i recovered the rest of  the day and slept most of it as well!
by thursday i was feeling better so me valarie and bowen ventured to the grocery store to prepare for the weekend! my moms side of the family, along with anyone who wants to tag along, all go to Junction every year since i was about 3 for the 4th so i wasnt about to miss that!!!
well, all in all the camping trip was awesome as usual except for around 5:00 friday to saturday mid afternoon i was pretty much all tears!!!!! yep, debbie downer right here, but i had a totally valid excuse!!!!!!! as we were swimming in the river us women decided to get out and i got splashed from behind so naturally i turned around to return the splash and swoosh! there goes my wedding ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i said wedding ring!!!!!!! all 5 bands, (yes i'm gaudy) all 2 1/2 carats into the Llano river!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i instantly scream, cry, yell, and cuss like a sailor that my ring flew off! then i look up and see chadd literally running through the water with his beer in one hand, he drops the other hand to the bottom of the river immediately to start searching! as did everyone else in the water, which was about 10 or so people, more or less because they were probably scared i was going to go all lunatic since i went on a yelling rampage that lead into sobbing that finally lead to my mom pulling me out of the water holding me while everyone searched and prayed!!! props to bryan munn for taking off to the dollar store as well as meme to load up on goggles!!! well we didnt find it, so Tamra calls her husband david, since he hadn't left angelo yet, to bring the metal detector his parents own! yes, how ironic that the last one to arrive in our group hadn't left yet and conveniently had access to a metal detector??? ya crazy! so night falls, no ring...morning comes...no ring...so everyone is down at the water swimming around lunch saturday and david looks at me and says, "im going to find that ring shelby, its gonna bother the hell out of me until i do!" so i said have at it brotha! so he goes down to the water after making another trip to the store for a fresh battery...about an hour later chadd, kysha, josh, sloane and i were all up at the camp when everyone down at the water started freaking out!!! THEY FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they decided to submerge the metal detector and everytime it beeped my Uncle David, (not to be confused with brother in law david) would dig wherever it beeped while B-I-L david maneuvered the detector and right as my Godmother Gina was praying, david pulled up a handful of mud and rocks and voila! there it was!!!!!!!!!!!
needless to say mine and chadds weekend got a whole lot better as well as everyone elses! they didnt like seeing me so sad! chadd reassured me the whole time it was missing that he didnt care it was just something materialistic and he would get me a bigger one! but boy did he lay it on when we found it!!! haha not too bad though but he did put it in the ash tray in his truck and i wasnt allowed to touch it the rest of the weekend!!! thank the lord for my brother in law david and his family for making a special trip in from grape creek to bring him the detector before he left town!!!!!!! also a HUGE THANKS to all my friends and family that helped in the treasure hunt! your efforts WILL be rewarded i promise!!!!!!!! oh and please forgive me for my sailor mouth that went nuts in the heat of the moment! trust me there was no other way to react!!!!!!!!!! haha so thankful knowing the one gift, besides his heart of course, that chadd gave me did not have to be left behind! the sentimental value is totally irreplaceable!!!!!!!!!!!