well its been a while! this ride has been anything but easy, but were so happy to finally get to enjoy the ride!!! two full invitro cycles, 500 trips to san antonio, countless needles into my body, pills, bedrest, financial support from family and an amazing set of friends(you know who you are), and $30,000 later we saw the heart beat yesterday of our growing miracle and wouldnt trade it for anything in the world!
chadd and i have an amazing marriage. weve always had a strong relationship since we were first together and i have to contribute a lot of it to him. he has definitely given me the strength ive needed to get to where we are today. he and i have definitely changed eachother over the past 13 years together, and i know it will only get better. he has helped me overcome the fear of the future by reminding me to take all of this one step at a time, and i have just about broken his fear of needles with all the shots he has given to me! im by no means saying that the love we have for our child is any different than someone that got pregnant the "easy way," but going through all of this has definitely made us appreciate Gods work. trust me, if you dig down deep and have seen what weve seen about the process of what goes into making a baby, you would be shocked at how many miracles are created so easily sometimes!
i honestly have to say as well that our marriage has been amazingly supported by watching the love and support our parents have always given eachother. not everyone is fortunate enough to witness such love and devotion, but we truly have been. not only the love they have for eachother, but the love they have for us, their children. when our first IVF cycle failed, it was like our world was over. the road had ended, but for some reason all of a sudden, i didnt want it to end. i thought i was tired of the countless san antonio trips, shots, and pills, but i knew deep down God had a plan and in that instant i knew we couldnt give up yet. thankfully for our amazing parents, they all came together and put up the money we needed to try one more time. at first we both thought, no way...theirs no way we can take money like that from them, but then my mom said, "hey we want to be grandparents just as bad as yall want to be parents and wouldnt you do the same for your children if they needed it and you could?" so of course their was no turning it down after that! so from their hearts and wallets to ours, the money appeared, but what dissapeared was our fear...the first time we went through all of this, i told chadd afterward that in my heart something didnt feel right but of course i ignored it. for some reason though, all of us had this feeling that it was just going to work this time. we werent hesitant, we werent afraid, we werent nervous for some reason! i know now that it was all God working inside of us to ease our hearts so we would know that the future was in His hands and if we just trusted Him, it would all work!
we also have a huge place in our hearts for all of the people that have come out of the wood work lifting us up to Him in prayer. Ive met quite a few people recently that have friends of friends that know us and have spoken about us, then they come to us saying that, even though they dont know us, they are praying for us. people have added us to their prayer groups at their churches and dont even know our last names! its amazing! i feel really strongly as well that all of these prayers have helped to heal our hearts and keep the confidence and strength in them that we have needed. so from the bottom of mine and chadds hearts, you know who you are, we cant thank you enough for the amazing prayers. we know we go to bed at night lifted into the arms of God because of all of you.
thank you to everyone for helping us get here. you will all be a part of creating our miracle! please continue the prayers and we cant wait for everyone to meet the miracle you all helped create this coming April!
I LOVE YOU MY CHADD
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